The Drive to get out of the NICU

For those of you keeping track; this Wednesday is week 10 in the NICU. Tomorrow, the last of the babies admitted the same week as Elsie, is being discharged. This is excellent for the baby and her family...they have faced and over come many challenges. At the last NICU support group meeting her mother asked "is anyone else still here (meaning the NICU)?" I was the only one to raise my hand. In response she said, "then you understand the drive to get out of the NICU." Yes ma'm, I totally do. It is bittersweet to see other children progress more quickly than Elsie. My mother and the nurses at the NICU remind me that they didn't start out as small as Elsie did. And she will get to come home. One day.

At our NICU support group Christmas Party another parent told me she actually contemplated simply walking out with her twin boys. Thinking, rationalizing to herself, "they can breastfeed. It's not like they will starve. Legally, what will they do if I just leave with them?" Looking back she realizes what a completely ridiculous thought this is to have. The truth is that is exactly where I'm "at." That is how crazy the emotions can make you; and how the drive to "get out" can almost consume you. I am thankful to hear NICU graduate parents and their stories. They assure me that I'm not crazy, at least, not yet.

At the same time (God please do not let me jinx this by putting this out there on the Internet. Love, Ellen); I feel like we are turing a corner. Elsie finally got the hang of breast feeding on Friday. She is now nursing twice a day. For those of you who tried and were not successful nursing. I hear you. We've been "practicing" for almost four weeks now. Her cannula has been turned down to one liter and she is doing well. They may turn her down to half a liter in a few days if she continues to have good stats.

She is also 4 lbs 3 oz. Still in an isolette. They want to be sure she has feeding down, can consistently put on weight, and maintain her temperature before they move her to an open crib. The idea being make sure she can do it all on her own before you actually make her do it all on her own in an open crib. She will burn calories doing everything by herself so they need to make sure she can handle nursing well so she continues to put on weight.

We are making progress. I know we are. It's just not as quickly as I would have liked. As I've said on here before. She's like her Daddy. She does what she wants when she wants. Not a minute sooner. Sheesh.

Love Y'all,
Ellen